Category Archives: Asshat

Asshat Much?

Mike Henry of Lead Change Group wrote a great article in response to another by George Cloutier.

Mr. Cloutier’s article,entitled, “Your Company is Not a Democracy,” was published in Entrepeneur magazine. This “Turnaround Ace” and NY Times best-seller is a big proponent of the “just view me as god” approach to business management. Nice. He provides other nuggets such as “be a dictator” and (my personal favorite) “Tell your employees ‘Don’t think – obey.”

The Asshat

Asshat

I’m really at a loss for words. Really, George? Fear? Benevolent dicator? Is there such a thing? Really? We’re not indentured servants or furniture. I think the Soviets used a similar business model and we all know how that worked out.

Read Mr. Henry’s article first and then go to Cloutier’s.

8pm – The above was written quickly this morning after reading both articles. I’ve had the day to reflect and want to expand upon my more visceral outburst above.

Unfortunately, I have seen it all too often (and, to an extent, am living it now); small business owners who believe as Mr. Cloutier does. They see employees more as burdens, a suck on company resources (profits). If a business is suffering, Mr. Cloutier teaches to blame the employee first. After all, if they were working harder, the company would be rolling in profits and the owner would be rich. Fear is not an effective motivator. It only gets you the bare minimum, just enough not to be fired.

Instead, maybe they should look at their business plan (if there is one), their growth strategy (if there is one) or even the industry/market. Maybe it is just dead, or over saturated.

Mr. Cloutier makes a snide remark in his article regarding the suggestion box. Employees aren’t paid to think, just obey. After all, if they were as smart or as great of a person, they would be running their own business.

Employees are smart. Listen to them, they are the ones doing the work. They might have innovative ideas that could cut costs, increase productivity, increase customer service.

I just hate reading articles like Mr. Cloutier’s. It just perpetuates bad behavior on the part of employers. That’s not managing or leading. It’s bullying. Times have changed. Feudal lords and serfdom went out of style a few years ago (I think).

Owners cannot do it alone. They need our help.


Gone Fishing…

.

A friend at work offered a book he thought I would like, Shift by Peter Arnell, a big-time marketing guy in NYC. The book is pretty good, it is more about his struggle to go from over 400 pounds down to circa 150 (awesome feat, imho) but throws in some good life and business tidbits, as well.

His grandfather worked the fish markets in New York and would tell him this quite often, sometimes literally in regards to fishing and others, life. It resonated with me as I become more involved in business development in my company. I am trying to find where the fish are biting and then gently nudge management in that direction.

For a brief moment, I considered sending this drawing to Mr. Arnell and sharing what I said above. Then I read some stories that paint him to be an asshat. My fantasy of him loving my work and showering me with praise and being my new best friend melted into cease and desist orders and screaming into phones. Extreme, I know. He comes across as very charming in his book, very likeable, but that is easy to do in a book (or in a blog with stupid drawings) but a real jerk-wad in real life. Granted, the stories were few (and there were a fair share of positive ones) but why open myself up to that. I have enough asshats yelling at me.

What do you think? Share or keep our little secret?


A Horse to Water…

Horse to Water

An old boss said this once several years and it really stuck with me. How could it not? It’s simple yet conveys a distinct message.

I drew this after a wonderful meeting with my favorite asshat. As her face was turning a lovely shade of puce, she accused me (among many other things) of never giving her a document I had written for her to review and approve. I told that she received a hard copy of the document at another meeting the month before. “Well, look at the pile I carry around,” pointing to a large pile papers she has with her at all times. “You can’t expect me to find it in this mess.”

My fault, I know. So, I told her the document was emailed to her prior to the aforementioned meeting. She all but called me a liar and said she would have to dig through her numerous emails, if it actually is there. She sure did not remember seeing it. If she did not get the email, then my fault and I will send to her. Which I did – forwarded the original (with her name first in the “To” line) and I made sure I copied her bosses on that, as well. Which led me to recall the line above.

Ahhh, good time, good times.


My Last One…

Asshats. Actually, just one asshat; on my last nerve and playing hopscotch!

Last One

Let me explain. No, let me sum up… (geeks will get that line)…

Here is an analogy about her asshatedness.  Actually, not. I started this post several weeks ago and had started a long diatribe. She’s not worth the time, mine or yours. She’s a bully. Pure and simple. Jenny and I decided long ago that bully’s lack intellect so they use nastiness to get what they want. She does not have the intellect to understand what is going on around her so she is nasty and mean.

And doing the Macarena on my last nerve! Asshat.

 


Bad Cog…

Uppity Cog

Uppity Cog

It doesn’t show up too well in the scan, but our fearless hero is presenting a new idea to the Asshat.

The Asshat is right. Nobody likes an uppity cog trying to change things. Even when the cog is hired specifically for that purpose.

Stupid Cog.


Pray…

Pray for Relevance

Pray...

This is a follow-on to Will Work For Relevance. If I can’t work for it, might as well pray for it.

[not sure what is up with the scanning job of this one. Still not getting the settings right. That bothers me. More evidence of my drekky-ness, I guess]


Relevance…

Relevance

Relevance...


Lily Pads and Asshats…

wet sunglasses

Wet Sunglasses

This is just another version from last week’s post. Jenny suggested this one. Of course the Asshat would get miffed if a droplet got on his cool shades. Gourdo shouldn’t have made a such a big splash when the Asshat pushed him off the lily pad.


Lily Pads, Asshats and Fools, Oh My…

lily pads asshats and fools

Lily Pads, Asshats and Fools

Figures. There is always an asshat trying to make sure you don’t move onto the next lily pad. He’s either threatened or just truly an “asshat” and enjoys effen with other people’s lives.

And there always seems to be some fool nearby having a little fun at your expense.  But really, what fool can resist a schadenfreude opportunity?


Wrong Ladder. Hell, Wrong Wall…

Kids Table

Wrong Ladder-Wrong Wall

When climbing the corporate ladder, make sure it’s against the right wall.


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