Message Received…

I commented this morning on a blog and feel the need to talk about it here. The paragraphs following the quoted part contains an expanded version of my comment.

Jon Swanson writes a nice blog called Levite Chronicles. This morning, he reposted an entry he wrote this last May called Looking Back – Pass It On. It talked about a man he knows who was having a problem with prayer and Jon gave him the following advice,

“Spend the next few days listening to how your children talk to you and your spouse. Listen to what is requested. Listen to the talking for talking sake. Listen to inflection and urgency and desire to be with you and hear you and love you. And then talk to God the same way.”

I have been in a crisis of faith for the last seven years, since losing our son to cancer in 2001. I pray every night but it is more ritualistic, repeating the same words, in the same order, never really deviating from the script, all because I feel I should, not because I want to.

I know God has been trying to get through to me but I have been choosing not to listen. I even hesitated at reading Jon’s blog because of the possibility of God-related subject matter. Not because of Jon and his writing. I just did not want to hear it, specially if it seemed God was saying something to me. But I enjoy Jon’s writing and decided to stick with it. After reading this morning’s entry, I have to wonder if there was a reason for being brought there.

I will choose to see a message in this, whether I want to or not. Don’t know what I will do with it or if I am even ready to anything but, message received.

Photo courtesy of stuart166axe.

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2 responses to “Message Received…

  • Rosalyn

    Steve,

    I was googling for other sites dealing with career change and I came across your post.

    Your honesty and vulnerability touched me.

    When I have gone through difficult times Psalm 23 has helped. The promises are there whether or not we feel able to take them. And in fact a shepherd’s role in caring for his sheep is not dependent on the sheep ‘feeling’ anything for the shepherd. God never moves away from us, we just need to turn around and see Him there.

    Anyway, you take care. I’m going to look at the rest of your site now!

  • Steve

    Hi Rosalyn,
    Thank you for your kind words.

    I know He is there, at least I think I know. I guess I am choosing to not turn around right now. I am trying, though. It’s hard not to notice sometimes.

    Thanks, again, and take care yourself.

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